Knit and Crochet Bible Study

Month: August 2012

  • Prayer Chain or Gossip Gab

    “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”   Ephesians 4:2

    With fall comes a return to bible study in many churches.  Is your church doing one of my Knit and Crochet Bible Studies?  If so, thank you.  And by the way, I would love to hear what you and the participants thought about it. Please send a note to knitandcrochetbiblestudy at gmail dot com  (you know how to put all that together, and this way the mean cyber robots won’t grab my email and spam with it, I hope).

    My biggest rule in being part of a Knitting and Crochet Bible Study is that there be no gossiping or back stabbing. Admit it, it is very easy, when gathered together relaxed and chitchatting, to slip into a little bit of husband bashing, child crushing and untold gossip. It tends to come almost naturally.  We must make an effort to control our conversations. If I were to visit your meeting would I find, as Paul feared in 2 Corinthians 12:20 “For I am afraid that when I come I many not find you as I want you to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”

    Oh yes, our families are a joy in our lives, but occasionally they do get on the nerves.  And sometimes it is good to discuss situations to help us understand a phase you are encountering. We must find a way to do it that is God honoring, not harmful or malicious toward the family member and does offer a help.

    So what is is gossip? Proverbs 11:13 says “A gossip betrays a confidence”. In the same book, 16:28 reminds us “gossip separates close friends”. Moving on to 26:20 “without gossip a quarrel dies down” If any of these are a result of the talk, it is gossip.

    One of my biggest pet peeves I call gossip through prayer.  I have seen it many times. The conversation starts like this,  I have a prayer request for my husband/neighbor/co-worker/etc, he has been (insert fault after fault after fault here) and you just need to pray that he will get right and do what he should.  While we need to pray for one another, this manner just introduced a complaint about the person. Be careful. Consider these 4 things before you speak:

      1.  Will the person be harmed or embarrassed if it were known you spoke these words?
      2.  Will the words be God-honoring?
      3.  Are the words spoken in a respectful manner?
      4.  Have you prayed for this person yourself?

    I want to encourage you when you ask for prayer, first get down on your knees daily before God. Do not make your prayer request the only time you approach God about the situation. Don’t be like the hypocrites referred to in Matthew 6:5 that “stand and pray on the street corner so their prayers may be seen by man”.

    Above all, enjoy your time together. I love how these groups are often multi-generational. This offers an opportunity to see life situations from different aspects. No matter what your age, you can model a Titus 2 woman.

    What Must Be Taught to Various Groups

    1 You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2 Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. 3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. 6 Similarly, encourage the young mento be self-controlled. 7 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. 9 Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them,10 and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive. 11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope–the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. 15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

    It is my hope, no matter what bible study you participate in, that you open your heart to hear Him speak.

    Stitched into His Hands,

  • Forgotten in the Church Pew

    Our society strives to avoid any possibility of offending anyone except God – Billy Graham

    I used to be bothered by the story in  Matthew 18 about the shepherd leaving the flock of 99 to find the one lost sheep. I had understood over the many times it was taught that this shows us how important it is to Christ that not one person would be left behind. He wants everyone to have the opportunity to know Him and to live in eternity with Him.

    I had always understood I am one of the 99. But my fret came from the feeling that the 99 were being ignored for the 1. It was through a teaching by Fawn Brents of Unfolding The Truth that I realized as one of the 99 I was not ignored, I was first fed, cared for and tucked safely in bed with the heavenly hosts standing watch over me before the shepherd left.

    I feel that churches today are modeling seeking the one, but they are ignoring the 99. Consider my thoughts then share, respectfully, your thoughts. I am always interested in how several people see differently the same picture.

    Over the past several years the focus of the church has undergone a series of sensitivity changes in an effort to become more seeker sensitive, not wanting to offend unchurched Sam and Sue.

    Many churches no longer ask you to follow along in the Bible, because some may people not have one. As one pastor said to me we’ll just put up the verses on the screen that we want them to see. We don’t want to make them think they need a bible of their own.

    No more altar calls because we don’t want to embarrass anyone by asking them to come forward. 

    Instead of leading a congregation in a suit and pounding on the podium shouting fire, brimstone and the threat of hell, we now stand in shorts on the main floor to be among the people and tell light hearted stories so we can appear less intimidating.

    Communion, in some churches, moved to Wednesday nights because usually visitors don’t come to that service and we won’t embarrass them by having it on Sunday.

    I agree we are to be sensitive, show Christ to the unchurched. This is what Jesus did.It is good to be sensitive, to help, to lovingly show everyone that God loves them. I wonder though, in seeking the 1, have we ignored and left the rest of the flock unprotected?  Have we become so focused on  serving unchurched Sue and Sam that we no longer see the needs of churched Carla and Charles as they sit crying in our own pews?

    Pastors in the past had the burden of knowing everyone in the congregation turning to him for guidance. This was his flock and he, their shepherd. Many were overwhelmed with the magnitude of this, and rightfully so! Exodus tell us that Moses was overwhelmed with the charge of all the Israelites and he delegated duties. To help him from being overwhelmed the model of Moses was used. Now the congregation is divided among several good men who help with the burden. Unfortunately, there are some pot holes in the arrangement.  With the pastor there is the sense of confidentiality, not so with these good people. Too many times all is shared with spouse and in earshot of family, spreading words spoken in confidence like a rumor weed.

    Small groups are very common now, hoping to offer up a chance at relationships with others. While this setting may be good for learning, it is not always healthy for someone in need. Too often people in the group try to be armchair psychologists instead of prayer warriors, leading the person deeper in silent tears.

    No longer does the pastor sit with the family while the loved one undergoes surgery. Instead we say a prayer at the church with them on Sunday morning to get them through.

    I feel like these changes are an attempt to avoid the possibility of offending anyone, however, I believe we are offending the very people closest to us. Because churched Carla and Charles are inside the door, we continue the sensitivity by not getting too close. If they suddenly aren’t in church, no calls or visits are made to ask if they are okay because we don’t want to be pushy.

    A long time ago I had a pastor that had everyone sign in each Sunday. If you missed, a letter was sent saying you were missed and asking if everything was okay. The more you missed the firmer the letter was worded. Another church had volunteers calling a list of members asking if there was something they could pray about for the family. Both ideas can work IF a relationship has been established. I don’t believe this relationship is  encouraged in today’s pews.

    During service we are told we are family, shake hands with those around you then lets get started. There is no honest answer to the ‘hi, how are you’ gauntlet. No more care is given to that person than one you pass by in the mall.

    What about churched Carla and Charles?  They come to church each Sunday, stand for 20 minutes listening to the music, occasionally joining in. They listen quietly as the service is given, then they get generic nods from those around them as they walk out the door.

    The pastor says someone is up here if you want prayer but this was preceded by we don’t have an altar call, we don’t want to embarrass anyone by asking them to come forward. Churched Charles looks at Carla and says, if it would be embarrassing to come forward and acknowledge God, how can it be less so to step forward and pour out my heart where these people can see me? Besides, look at them, they are busy putting everything away so they can go home. This isn’t the right time.

    So churched Carla and Charles continue each week to sit in the pew, silently crying, desiring spiritual guidance and feel as if they are being pushed aside so nothing said or done would be offensive.

    My questions, then include, how can we offer the same caring for the churched as for the unchurched? How can we keep the weight of the stress of caring for so many off the shoulders of the pastor, yet offer confidence and caring to the people?  How can the person in the pews feel as desired and sought after as the person on the street.

    I don’t know the answers. I understand the many difficulties experienced by the leadership, but I wonder if we are being so super sensitive that we are looking past needs in our own pews.

    What do you think?